Shame On Me


You caught me: I am a bad blogger. Some of you likely logged on last Sunday night or Monday morning and found yourself staring at… nothing. I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed in myself for skipping last week. I know I was specific when I said I would not be as stringent with my blogging habit this year due to my success last year, but that does not mean I enjoyed closing my laptop and heading to bed without completing one.

For those that have been following, last Sunday was a combination of many things. Matt’s parents were in town for a fabulous visit with our first true “guests” in our home. It was also Super Bowl Sunday, so we had Janessa and Kristle and their kids over for pizza, football, and pet play time. By the time football was done and Kristle and the kids were heading home, I was beat. Blogging was not happening.

So here I am with two weeks of news to share. Sadly, the news is minimal. I worked, Matt and I gamed, and… yes, that is it. I am still loving my job at Target, despite a bit of resentment at the job market in general. That resentment is not Target’s fault, and I admit that I love my team, my supervisors, and my schedule. Do I want to do amazing things with my degree? Yes, someday that would be outstanding.

Right now though, I will concern myself with being a good worker, a good soldier, and cooking this kid to perfection. There are also sub-categories that include being a good pet parent and the best family member I can be, but those are generally givens.

Speaking of pet parents, I have a few questions. Having owned a slew of different animals in my life, I am no stranger to positive reinforcement, safety and discipline, and breed-specific quirks, but I have run into some new things with this “batch” of four-legged family members. First, Luna is still eating rocks. Granted, it is not nearly as bad as it was, so I hope age will move her from that habit, but it still worries me.

Second, Luna has learned what “No” means and, usually, chooses to adhere to it. Her roughhousing with Chaos continues still, but a firm no can sometimes delay it, if not squash it for the moment. Chaos defends himself like a champion and frequently taunts her into a game despite my wishes to keep them safe with each other. My fear of animal blood or the loss of one of their eyes will remain, but at least we have a small measure of control.

Finally, can anyone help with a question that even lacks a definite answer on Google? While I have found multiple occurrences from other cat owners, why would Cairo begin to chatter – the hunting sound, if you will – whenever Matt sneezes? It happens more than half the time that he does, and she begins her broken meow mixed with the sound a normal cat makes when looking out a window at a bird it cannot reach. She does not flex with hostility and is still as cuddly as she always is with us… she is just noisy in the most adorable way.

I will attempt to get it on film in the near future, for science.

Baby news is normal as well. I took Matt’s parents and my father to February’s midwife appointment and am thrilled at the lightning speed the midwife had in finding the heartbeat this time. It was almost as if she found it before the doppler wand was placed on my belly. I hope the experience was as enjoyable for all guests as it was for me.

Also, I gained a bit of weight between the pee stick day and now, but it was not until two weeks ago the my stomach started making all clothing uncomfortable. Apparently it is all bigger from here, but it really did hit all at once. The process is exciting and I am having a great time with it, but I am also looking forward to meeting this child and getting back on track with my OCS aspirations.

I have a bunch of people I have to make proud, you know.

For those that are waiting for it, my first – and likely only – ultrasound is on the 18th. Matt and I will be finding out the sex of our child, but will likely be keeping it to ourselves until July. After that, we cannot really plan on keeping it a secret, can we? I have received a bit of backlash for this decision – more from friends than family members, thankfully – but I am comfortable in our decision to allow the child to be who they want to be because they want to be.

If I never hear “That’s a boy shirt!” or “Only girls play with that!” I will be extremely proud of Matt and me for our resolve and support, and for my friends and family for understanding why this is important to me. Having grown up a female who preferred monster trucks and GI Joe to Barbie and pink, I know how it feels to have society push things on me because of my anatomy. While I understand that I will not be able to prevent gender conformity entirely, hopefully a home of understanding and support can negate some of the way society dictates a child show grow.

Another note before I depart for this week: I have been on the receiving end of much more support than I thought I would from my peers in the Army and some of my teammates at Target. While it is gaining momentum in our society today, there is still enough ignorance regarding midwives and home births that is feels new and scary to many people. Some of my coworkers, however, are extremely interested in learning about the process and offering support where possible.

It is exhilarating.

Have a good week, and happy reading.

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