January is a myth.
Now that I have gotten that out of the way, I can truly reflect on January as it existed for me. I know it happened; I know I was there. Recalling January, however, leaves me with a hazy recollection of assignments, midnight homework with my partner Rob, and a certain dread for the future. No, “dread” is unfair. I relish the thought of a fork in the road as much now as I always have. There is a certain level of anxiousness, of nerves, but the thrill of my path excites me. January was spent in equal measures of looking forward to graduation, and looking back to the choices that brought me here.
I spent a lot of time writing and refining a résumé this week. It turns out that my design skills are still mediocre at best, but constructive criticism from friends and mentors helped me shape my résumé into something worthy of the companies to which I will be sending it. The cover letter was easy enough, but only because a deadline forced me to focus my attention on one company for now. I felt comfortable writing that letter because it was a bit less strict, a little less structured than the résumé. It gave me the freedom to be myself, but professionally.
A letter expressing interest? Easy.
Talk about myself and why I am a better candidate than everyone else? Cake.
Now comes the real nerves. It was one thing to chat casually about applying. It took nothing to discuss the possibility of moving, starting a “real” life, and advancing in a company that I have known and loved for almost twenty years — though I will admit I was unaware that I was playing their games until around ten years ago.
Actually applying is a different thing. Not only did I watch the job postings religiously throughout my time at Full Sail, I picked a few. I watched them; I felt disheartened to see them disappear from the list. I remember walking on air for a day or two the few times I saw an entry-level position become available because they seemed so rare. Because of the condensed program at Full Sail, and the lack of Summer vacation — any vacation, for that matter — I was sure that I needed to find a job and that I was not allowed to apply for internships.
Naturally, I was wrong.
I do not know how this will go, but I cannot help but admit that I did not settle for a company. I did not accept progressing through years of work at various companies in an effort to end up where I wanted to be. I started there first, and now I hope. Am I against experiencing the industry in a step-by-step basis in order to gain some experience, build a network of contacts, or “testing the waters”? No, I am not against that at all, but I could never live with myself if I had not at least made the leap to get to where I wanted to be from square one. I do have plenty of backup plans and ideas, but I cannot help but hope for this.
If January was such a blur, what will February bring for me?
I can promise that it will be much of the same and worse, but February will have good things too. I will organize the move to <insert new home city here> and anyone who has met me knows that, despite my complaints, I do love to move. I like the fresh feeling, the clean slate, and even with the stress, the organizing, and the deadlines, it makes me feel alive. It offers me a chance to see the same world from a new perspective, or culture. There is a huge world out there, and I only have this one chance to see it.
Hopefully, February will also have enough time to meet with the friends I have made while I have lived in Florida. A month seems like a long time, but it is infinitely shorter when faced with the project my partner Rob and I have before us. I can only hope that I will get to see everyone before March.
I need to start making a note of things I want to talk about on Sundays. I go through the week making a mental note of something humorous, horrendous, and noteworthy and I open the “create new post” page and am left with whatever is on my mind at that moment. I have done VERY well organizing my contacts in sync with my email account, but there is so much more I can do to simplify my life or become more orderly than I already am.
Yes, I can hear my mom saying “You’re OCD. You’re organized enough for 5 people.”
Have a great week, happy readers.